


Pining and Dragons

by trapezoidscheme



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Dungeons and Dragons, Fluff, M/M, boyy i know absolutely NOTHIGN about d&d but i consulted some sources and Did My Best, out mac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 13:33:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10922814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trapezoidscheme/pseuds/trapezoidscheme
Summary: “Well, be bored no longer!” Dennis says, slamming his box down on the bar. It contains a set of weird-looking dice and a heavy packet of paper that says “Dungeons and Dragons: Official Rules” at the top. Dennis grins as the looks of understanding dawn on everyone’s faces.





	Pining and Dragons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [babbyspanch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/babbyspanch/gifts).



> This is set after Hero or Hate Crime but before PTSDee !

It’s a rainy Wednesday afternoon and the Gang, sans Dennis, sits around the bar, bored out of their minds. 

“Hey Charlie, do you wanna learn how to braid hair?” Dee suggests. She looks down at Charlie’s hands (which are stained with rat blood) and quickly shakes her head as Charlie nods. “Nevermind, nevermind.” 

“Chardee Macdennis?” Mac suggests, to which Dee nods vehemently.

“No way man, my arm still hurts sometimes from last year,” Charlie says. He hits Frank on the shoulder, startling him out of sleep. “Back me up on this, man, tell Mac and Dee we’re not playing Chardee Macdennis.”

Frank nods, glassy-eyed. “No Chardee Macdennis,” he affirms, and Dee sighs and puts her head down on the bar. 

Dennis bursts in suddenly, wide grin lighting up his face, with a cardboard box balanced in his arms. “You guys are bored, right? Aren’t you bored?” 

“So bored, dude…” Mac moans, and Charlie and Dee echo with complaints of their own.

“Well, be bored no longer!” Dennis says, slamming his box down on the bar. It contains a set of weird-looking dice and a heavy packet of paper that says “Dungeons and Dragons: Official Rules” at the top. Dennis grins as the looks of understanding dawn on everyone’s faces.

~~~

“Alright,” Dee says, spreading her hands out to quiet the bickering around the table. “You’ve just won your first battle, congratulations!” Charlie and Dennis high-five and there’s a round of cheering that even Dee joins in on. 

“I roll to kiss Dennis!” Mac proclaims. The chatter stops and all eyes turn to him.

“Are you serious?” Dee sets down her beer and stares at him. Charlie’s giving Mac the same wide-eyed Look he gives whenever Mac talks about Dennis, he can feel it, but he elects to focus on the game and pretend not to notice.

“Yeah dude, I wanna kiss Dennis!” Mac enforces. Charlie buries his head in his hands. 

Dennis punches Dee’s shoulder with a sneer. “You heard him, bitch! Roll, Mac!”

Frank jolts out of his nap and echoes Dennis with a quiet “yeah!”  Mac cups the d20 in his palms, furiously shakes his hands, and unleashes the die onto the table. Mac and Dennis crowd around it with considerably more eagerness than anyone else. 

The number 1 stares up at them, cold and unforgiving.

“Hah!” Dee says, triumphant. “Mac accidentally punches Dennis in the face instead of kissing him, so Dennis, you miss the next four turns while you’re recovering from a broken nose.” 

“You bird bitch!” Dennis shrieks. Mac throws the die across the room with a yell, landing it directly into a customer’s drink. Dee sits smugly in her chair as chaos ensues around her.

Frank calls a recess. 

~~~

“Hey Mac, can we talk about something? Just really quick?” Charlie tugs on Mac’s upper arm, steering him in the direction of the back office. Mac opens his mouth, but Charlie interrupts with “Alone?” 

Mac nods and Charlie pulls him into the back office, slams the door behind them and rounds on him, pushes him into a corner like he’s about to be interrogated.

“Okay, I have no idea why you even need to--” Mac starts, and Charlie rolls his eyes.

“Are you in love with Dennis?” Charlie asks, pointing an accusing finger at Mac. 

Mac sputters, raises his arms in surrender. “I was just trying to celebrate, dude! Like bros! Dennis is cool with it.”

“Oh my GOD!” Charlie pulls on his hair, forces Mac out of his way as he paces around the tiny office, mumbling his frustrations.

“This is because I’m gay, isn’t it?” Mac says, eyes following Charlie back and forth. Charlie pauses, stares at Mac, and screams. 

Outside, in the bar, Dee isn’t faring much better.

“You know he’s coming on to you, right?” Dee says. “There’s no such thing as a bro-kiss.”

“What, Mac? Nah.” Dennis sips at his drink lazily, props his leg up on a chair without a care in the world.

“‘Nah’? What the hell are you talking about ‘nah,’ he’s so head-over-heels for you!” Dee says. She takes a long pull from her beer and gestures to the closed office door with the bottle. “I guarantee he’s telling Charlie how in love with you he is as we speak.”

“Deandra’s right, there’s definitely something there,” Frank says sagely, which gets a loud  _ thank you _ from Dee.

“Well, if there is, I’m not acknowledging it unless Mac faces me like a fucking man!” Dennis says, his voice escalating in pitch until he’s practically shrieking. Dee pats his arm placatingly, pity painting her face. 

“Maybe you need to make the first move--”

“Absolutely not, Dee, what kind of man do you think I am?” Dennis spits.

Dee sits back in her chair, shrugs at Frank. Watching the two of them dance around each other for 20 years has worn her and Charlie the hell down. They’ve had extensive conversations about it, drawn diagrams, even, but Dennis still stubbornly clings to whatever the hell is keeping him in the closet. Charlie assured her in the weeks after Mac came out that Dennis would follow, like a cat on a string, but after a month of absolutely no gay shit, Dee is getting tired. Even Frank complained about it, and Frank doesn’t notice much of anything anymore. “There’s just so much unresolved tension,” he said to Dee one night, after Mac and Dennis went home with their arms around each other and Mac’s face buried in Dennis’s neck. And living with it… Charlie doesn’t even know the half of it. Living with them is  _ hell _ .

Charlie bursts out of the office, face red and hair sticking up more than usual, and Mac follows sheepishly. 

“Dee, I swear to Christ…” Charlie starts, but Dee shakes her head.

“No luck here, sorry,” Dee says.

Charlie screams again, long and loud.

~~~

They’re back at Dee’s apartment and it's still pouring outside, thunder booming every so often and rattling the window panes. Dee has been giving both of them the silent treatment lately, and was already in bed with Old (Black) Man, despite it still being relatively early. The TV is playing a rerun of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which Dennis watches with rapt attention, grinning every time a dementor comes on screen. Watching Dennis be genuinely happy is a rare treat, so Mac watches Dennis’s face more than he actually watches the screen, always looking away once Dennis feels his eyes on him.

“Do you think--” Mac starts. He pointedly avoids Dennis’s eyes, keeps an acceptable distance between them on the couch.

Dennis growls low in his throat and Mac heeds the warning, snaps his eyes to Dennis’s face and holds them there. 

“Is there-- there’s such thing as a bro kiss right?” Mac asks nervously. 

Dennis scoffs, flaps a hand as if he’s dispelling Mac’s words before they can reach his ears. “Is this about D&D earlier today? They just don’t understand our relationship, man.”

Mac smiles, reassured, sinks into the couch and scoots closer to Dennis. And hey, if Dennis’s arm creeps around Mac’s shoulder a little while later, and if Mac is snuggled into Dennis’s side by the time the movie ends, and if Dennis places a careful kiss into Mac’s hair after he’s absolutely sure that Mac is asleep… Who’s to say bros can’t do that?

**Author's Note:**

> honestly... if anyone else wants to continue or add to this please please do  
> thank you sm to @hyrude for beta-ing !!!  
> come hang out with me on tumblr! i'm @mcpoylehateblog


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